The Leadership Shift Most Founders Miss

Most leaders don’t want to fix their people.
They just feel like they’re supposed to.

When someone on your team is struggling, disengaged, missing deadlines, or showing up differently than expected, the instinct is immediate:
How do I correct this?
What feedback do I need to give?
What conversation will get this back on track?

Those questions aren’t wrong.
They’re just usually aimed at the symptom—not the source.

Because leadership isn’t about fixing people.
It’s about understanding them before things break.

The Fix-It Trap (And Why Good Leaders Fall Into It)

I see this most often with founders and first-time people managers.

You care.
You’re thoughtful.
You want your team to succeed.

So when something feels off, you move into problem-solving mode.

You rewrite instructions.
You jump in to help.
You over-explain.
You take work back.
You add process.
You have the conversation.

Sometimes it works.
But often, it creates more tension than clarity.

You feel frustrated and stretched thin.
Your employee feels misunderstood, micromanaged, or quietly discouraged.

Not because anyone is doing something wrong—but because the focus is on fixing behavior instead of understanding what’s underneath it.

Most Performance Issues Are Really Translation Issues

Here’s a truth that changes how you lead (said gently):

Many leadership challenges aren’t performance problems.
They’re misalignment problems.

People differ in how they:

• Process information

• Make decisions

• Interpret urgency

• Respond to feedback

• Navigate ambiguity
  

Yet most of us default to leading others the way we prefer to be led.

So when someone doesn’t respond the way we expect, the story quickly becomes:

• They don’t care

• They’re not motivated

• They’re not capable

• They’re not ready
  

When in reality, they may simply be operating from a completely different internal framework.

Nothing is broken.
It’s just not translated.

What Shifts When You Lead From Understanding

When leaders move from fixing to understanding, everything softens—and sharpens—at the same time.

Feedback becomes clearer and less charged.
Expectations feel fair instead of fuzzy.
People stop guessing what “good” looks like.
Trust builds faster.
You spend less time managing and more time leading.

Instead of asking,
“How do I get them to do this better?”

You start asking,
“How does this person naturally operate—and how can I lead them more effectively?”

That single shift changes the dynamic completely.

A Pause Before Your Next Tough Conversation

Before your next feedback or performance conversation, take a beat and ask yourself:

• What assumptions am I making about this person?

• How might they be interpreting this situation differently than I am?

• What do they need to do their best work—not what I would need?
  

You don’t need perfect answers.
You just need to stay curious a little longer than feels comfortable.

That’s leadership.

Where Real Leadership Development Actually Happens

Understanding people isn’t about labeling them or putting them in boxes.
It’s about learning how to notice patterns, ask better questions, and adapt your leadership without losing yourself in the process.

Real leadership development doesn’t happen in a single conversation, a quick fix, or a one-off insight.

It happens over time—through reflection, application, feedback, and practice—when understanding becomes a skill you return to again and again.

The best leaders aren’t the ones who fix the fastest.
They’re the ones who understand the deepest.

And that’s something you can build.